At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We don't watch enough power rangers
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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