I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Your topless pictures make me question reality
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
