a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
