Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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