Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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