so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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