i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
