she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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