Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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