Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i wish my penis had a tongue
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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