Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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