he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
