when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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