Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
