and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
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Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
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I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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