Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
