I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
