Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
