So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
