I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
