Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
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I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
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He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize