we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
