I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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