OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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