if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
