found the other keg... it's in the tree
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
