i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
