she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize