at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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