BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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