i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
