I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize