i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
