I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize