the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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