you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Semen is not good for contacts.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
