you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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