do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
