I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
