Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
