I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
