Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
