True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
