none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
