When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
