Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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