white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
