I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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