Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Man, jail baloney is awful.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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