I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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