I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
