Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
