talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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