Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
