Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm too high and old for this...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
