: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
