I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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