My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
