He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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