Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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