I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
