i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize