we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
we're so committed to being not committed
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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