so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
