she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
